Where Dreams and Nightmares Collide

Should I write?

I have been intending to write about the purpose of our trip to Portugal since February 2020 but something inside me stopped me every time I laid my fingertips on the keyboard. Thoughts rushed into my head and mixed feelings invaded my heart. Should I write about it? Where do I start? Should I be blunt, or should I spruce up reality?

Europe can wait

Adventurous travel is what we enjoyed most as a couple. We caught the travel bug after we got married and have been wandering ever since. Six months was the longest we could stay without an adventure.

Yet, for some reason, for years, we had been postponing our travel to Europe. We always thought that Europe can wait and to be honest, it was too classy for our taste. We took on more adventurous journeys to the Far East, such as India, Thailand, Sri Lanka, and the Philippines and to the West, such as riding motorcycles across the southern United States of America, from Las Vegas to Miami.

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Our choice of destination for our next adventure had to fulfill two conditions A) a destination that includes flip-flops, Hawaiian style t-shirts, sea, sun and sand, B) a journey that includes motorcycles, backpacks and days that start at 4 am.

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Euro Trip, a dream, a plan…

Our dream was (or at least my dream J) was to go on a road trip and set foot in each and every country of the European continent. The plan was to purchase or build a motorhome, take a sabbatical year and the two of us roam endlessly from one place to another exploring some unusual corners of this world. I thought this road trip would add flavor to our visit to Europe and it would add a legacy to our adventure portfolio that one day we would sit and recount all those stories to our children.

In early 2017, I put all my cards on the table and pitched the idea to Chantal (My lovely wife, for those who don’t know her you can check her blog on www.chantalsouaid.com). I said: “How about travelling the world for a whole year? We could save some money and make some on the way…I have a plan… and I am serious!” All she needed to do was say “Yes” and life as she knew it would never be the same again.

The anticipation between my question and her reply was so strong. So strong, it felt like a kid waiting for his parents to approve of his Christmas gift. We had shared the same dreams and aspirations ever since we met. She has got to say “Yes”. She had always been a supporter of my crazy, sometime unrealistic plans… A few seconds felt like a lifetime. With a bit of hesitation in her eyes she replied: “How about we have a baby, then we go to Europe all together?!”

After a moment of ample silence, I looked into her eyes and I saw light sparkles in her teary eyes. I must admit, it was not the reaction I was expecting from Chantal… but it was so sincere I couldn’t but to reconsider her proposition.

On August 27, 2018, a double miracle happened! Our adorable twins Iva and Christopher were born. It was and still is a pure bliss that we never thought we deserve.

Since travel was always on our mind, we thought that four is better than two. Euro trip, you are on hold! We had to delay our trip, but it wasn’t cancelled nor removed from our upgraded travel plans as a family of four.

Mission: Finding a new place to call home

Fast forward to February 2020, “October 17” national up-rise was still at its climax, Lebanon was going through a rough economic and financial situation, the COVID-19 outbreak was about to be declared as a global health crisis… the whole situation was chaotic… We somehow knew deep inside that things will never be the same, particularly for Lebanon. We needed a plan B, we needed to get our kids to a safe shore. We hardly imagined raising our kids in such dire circumstances.

That was when I went back to my research folders about the best European countries to relocate to. Portugal has always been on the top of my list for many reasons, some include:

• Amiable nature of its people,
• Located in proximity to Lebanon (we share the same Mediterranean Sea),
• English is well spoken in most of its main cities and considered as an official business language,
• Education and healthcare are well established and reputed.

One step forward

On February 10, 2020, for the first time, we left the twins in trusted hands and took off to Portugal. We had to leave our twins home considering all what was happening around. It was a difficult decision to make but we had to do it. I guess our quest was greater than leaving the kids for few days.

Portugal was the first European country that we visited together as a couple. We wished our kids were with us in every minute we spent there. But we knew that this time it was different. We were on a different type of adventure. It is hard to say it, but the truth was, we were on a quest to find a safe place to call home. We took off out of despair but with a hope to find a better place where we could raise our children not far from home. Unconsciously, we were looking for a place with an easy access to Lebanon, anticipating for better days to come.  

Portugal a potential home

While everyone thought how lucky we were to be vacationing during these hard times, we were on a hard quest. From a dream to travel the world to the harsh reality of finding a new home. There we were in Europe, finding a scrape of hope, a place that might welcome us and give us some peace of mind. Portugal felt safe. We had a fully booked schedule of five days during which we met with immigration lawyers to better understand the rules and regulations and the eligibility process. We met with business owners to understand the status quo. We met with real estate agents to explore any potential investment opportunity that will allow us to legally relocate. We even scheduled meetings with a couple of private schools. We felt very welcome wherever we went. We saw a shivering light at the end of the tunnel. We were willing to leave behind more than 20 years’ worth of professional experience, a lifetime of memories, and a whole lot of loved ones, just for the hopes of being somewhere worthy of our kids growing up in.

A five-day trip to Portugal

During our 5-day stay we landed in Lisbon, the capital of Portugal, we drove all the way to Faro in Algarve South of Portugal where we spent one night. The next day we headed back to Lisbon. After spending a couple of days in Lisbon we drove North all the way to Porto. We spent two nights in Porto, and we drove back straight to the airport where we handed over our rental car and caught our flight back to Lebanon.

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Lisbon felt like a cosmopolitan city bearing a lot of history on its shoulders combining the modern and the traditional lifestyle. While we did not have much time to explore Algarve, it felt like a laid-back city by the sea, mainly a summer destination to British retirees and families. Porto had a different flavor. Porto is known for its bridges and port wine production. Probably that is why it had a distinguished flavor to us. In Porto we were fortunate to have been able to spend some time to reflect on the Douro river bend while sipping on Porto’s specialty wine (Port wine), after strolling in its narrow cobbled streets crossing from one bridge to another checking its painted tin-glazed ceramic churches, tours and railway stations.

While Porto won our heart, smaller cities such as Braga, Aveiro, Coimbra, and Viseu, were worth exploring before we make our decision, that was the recommendation of Carlos the helpful immigration lawyer we met in Lisbon.

Whilst our first visit to Portugal was more of a scouting visit, our plan was to comeback later in the year 2020 (August 2020 to be exact) with the kids and explore other potential cities.

As our dreams fade away

Little did we know that after our return from Portugal, we would be absorbing the impact of a  worldwide COVID-19 lock-down and topped with the financial crisis in Lebanon and the banks blocking all withdrawal in the US dollar currency, while watching our dreams fading away.

We had to adapt to the situation and make the best out of it. Sadly, living in Lebanon taught us unrivaled survival skills.

Working from home since our return from Portugal, hearing one piece of bad news after the other, we kept our grounds, we stayed positive, we exercised healthy habits, spent our time wisely and kept it going. We spent time as a family, tried to mimic anything close to a real life from home.

The knockout blow

We were still fighting, still kicking, then the Beirut blast took place on the afternoon of August 4, 2020. We stood at our balcony, trying to examine the nearby buildings, streets and mountains for any signs of smoke. From the earsplitting sound of the explosion we could estimate the immensity of this catastrophe. Couple of minutes after, we received the news.

After we rushed our kids inside, we emptied the kids’ pool from the balcony, and we saw the last drops of hope for this country go down the drain. What a waste of innocent souls!

We live in Jounieh, 20 km from the explosion scene. Fortunately, none of our family was hurt. The explosion ended up killing hundreds of innocent people and left more than 3000 families homeless, we feel lucky to be alive, to have a home, a bed, a roof above our head. That is exactly how corrupted negligent governments kill people and dreams in one shot.

All our thoughts and prayers are with all those who lost their dear ones. For no amount of prayer will return them and no amount of support will give them back a glimpse of what they called a life.

We will rise again and again

Despite how hard it may look, and no matter how deep dreams could have been buried, we decided not to give up, we will grasp those dreams and peel off the dust. We will not stop dreaming of a better tomorrow. For our family, the journey persists with the hope of a brighter and peaceful future.

Our only hope is to be able one day to realize our dreams in our beloved country, Lebanon.

The question remains, are we ever going to stop searching for a place to call home? Would we ever regain the trust in our dear Lebanon?  

Wake up!

People of Lebanon are we ever going to wake up and open our eyes to what is real?!

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