Lebanon… Fake… but charming!
Sometimes I wish I was old enough to tell you “you’re not the Lebanon I used to know”, but I am not and you’re not. I can only say “you’re not the Lebanon my parents told me about, you’re not the Lebanon I was promised, you simply are not the real Lebanon which I never knew and may not ever know” or “maybe that’s how you really are … fake… but charming”
You failed me!
Years ago, I gave up job titles and fortune, I gave up a promising future to get back to you. I was single, free of responsibility. Things have changed. I have a family now. I have a loving wife and a two-year old twins. What have you done for me? You took 40 years of my life, and more than 70 years of my parents and what have you gave me in return? You failed me and I won’t let you fail my children!
You’re not the Lebanon I dreamed of!
From now on we do it on my terms! I’ve risked everything, but not anymore!
I am no Nelson Mandela nor Mahatma Ghandi, not even close to mother Teresa or by any chance a Che Guevara… I gave up on you!
Enough of your promises
I had enough of your promises, you’re officially a cheater that has been cheated on over and over again until cheating became your norm. A wife would leave her husband for cheating. A husband would do the same if cheated… a friend would leave another if cheated and hurt. You’ve cheated on me and you’ve hurt me! You’re none of the above… you’re my home. As much as it’s hard for someone to leave his home… it is harder to find and settle down in another place… would you like that?
I have been travelling for more than 20 years, I have been to the East and I have been to the West, I lived the best adventures and experienced some of the worst. Wherever I went, I always had one question on my mind: “What if it was my home country, would it ensure a better life for me and my family? Would I be satisfied?”. Whenever my answer came positive, a second question followed automatically: “Why can’t Lebanon be better? There’s nothing in this country that Lebanon cannot offer… Why do I have to search for an alternative home while my home could be one of the best… or was?”
Would you miss me?
I wonder how would you be without me, would you miss me? Would you even feel my absence? Have you ever felt the absence of all those who found a new place to call home? Do you feel jealous when you hear about their success in their step-home? Isn’t it ironic …? Leaving home has been on my mind for years, but I never got the conviction that it is going to be better… I even tried and was about to take that risk… but it was you again… you stood in the way… again!
You ask me to fight for you, to fight for my rights… is that right? Why do I have to fight if it’s a right?… Right? Or maybe that’s, not right?!
You’re not the Lebanon my kids will inherit!
Repent!
Repent and I will welcome you again with arms wide open. Not because you deserve a second chance… you have depleted all your chances… I would welcome you because I deserve it, my children deserve it… and real people deserve a real place to call home!
I am sad and angry! Furious, is the right word…
From now on we do it on my terms!
Is it a Curse or a Bliss?!
I am more confused than ever, you neither want me in nor out… If only I could understand how you function… or dis-function! You’re just a sad, miserable corrupt filthy corner of the world… but I still got feelings for you. Is it a curse to be born on this side of the world? Have I been that bad in previous lives, and now I am being punished for the things I have done? Or is it a bliss to have been born in the land of prophets, saints and Gods?… or maybe it is just what they teach us in schools and churches, and we blindly believe! I have somehow lost touch with reality… your fake reality. Therefore, I am building my own reality.
I am ready to face the music…
However, in hopeless times like these, a change of perspective is a must. I can’t sit and watch life fading away… this life must change… and I should make the best of it! Change is on the way at any price. I still got one last bullet, a silver one… just in case you turned to a werewolf or a vampire… who knows what skeletons you still hide in your closet. Is that all you’ve got! Give me your best shot!
No matter what you do this time, I will be ready to face the music!
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